At first I thought this might be her husband. Isn’t she one of the Real Housewives?

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Husband or father, this gentleman looks rather dashing. And I thought she looked kind of hot for a super tan bride with gigantic fake breasts….until I saw this:

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How can a woman look so different from just a few feet closer? This picture frightens me. The Botox duckface, the horse hair weave… the close-up of her figure-skating “gown.” At least her husband’s kaftan-looking jacket takes some of the distraction off her tacky mess. What’s he hiding under there?

Awesomeness by Cake Wrecks

Awesomeness by Cake Wrecks

I’m assuming the couple doesn’t plan on saving the ‘top tier’ of the cake until their one-year anniversary. Talk about awkward. It would seriously freak me out if every time I opened the freezer I saw my head made out of cake. That’s some American Psycho shit.