Always a bridesmaid, never a … wait.

This is one of the most dashing brides I’ve ever seen. The craftsman-or woman-ship that went into this outfit is truly remarkable. It’s masculine, yet feminine. I can think of another lady with a head full of weave who carried calla lilies down the aisle and didn’t look half as put-together as this manicured queen. He looks even better than this guy!

Submitted By: Mary S

It’s kind of a toss-up. Both wear spangles on their fake boobs, both shake it for cash, and both would get married in Vegas.

I think her boobs are technically more covered than this woman’s, so that’s saying something. 

Submitted By: Anon

I thought scarfing down a hot dog at your white wedding was considered poor form, but this bride proves me wrong. I would say I hope she doesn’t mess up her nails, but she looks like she’s done this a few times before.

She looks like she’s deriving a lot of pleasure from this! At least the groom allowed her to crawl on grass. Would’ve sucked to crawl on concrete or lava rocks or something. Actually, if not for her dangling naked breasts, sexy lingerie and “rhinestone” leash this looks like a pretty traditional wedding. Bring on the Michael Jackson medley!

…or is she modeling a new line of Runaway Bride Rollerblades? ‘For the woman who has cold feet and just can’t decide: ‘Til death do us part or speedy urban getaway?’ I hope you can fit a flask in those things.

Submitted By: Anonymous

Hmm…let me think of a few things that are less boring than white brides flashing gang signs:

- Jury Duty
- Shaving
- Teaching the average Grandma how to use Facebook

Just because you rent a pimpmobile that seats 28 as your getaway car doesn’t mean you need to take the obligatory gangsta squat stance. Sometimes it’s gangsta not to be gangsta.

The length of a bride’s veil and the size of her bouquet do not a dress make. Then again, maybe the couple had to cut corners. Wedding dress or bounce castle? It’s an easy choice.

PS: Does her thong have a pull-tab on the front for easy-access?

It’s a toss-up! The two ladies at the hood look like they know what they’re doing, while the bride standing up looks like she’s panhandling for change. Maybe the battery died and they need a jump? What the hell kind of car is that? I realize this picture was taken at least 25 years ago, but are they riding around in the original Ghostbusters ambulance? Paging Dr. Venkman…

Looks less like a wedding and more like the welcoming committee at the Willy Wonka Candy Factory. Reception to be held on the banks of the Chocolate River?

Nothing like a tall cup of human blood after exchanging vows! Judging by the bride’s face, the toasts got a little emotional. And to think, it all started on ZombieHarmony …