Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

It’s hard to believe that just 4 months later this Holy Union had fallen apart. At the time, Pam Anderson wrote on her website that the divorce was “unfortunately impossible.” Um, it was? I’m thinking what’s MORE unfortunately impossible are those ginormous fake boobs her chin is resting on. Yowza. Unless of course you’re into that kinda thing.

At first I thought this might be her husband. Isn’t she one of the Real Housewives?

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Husband or father, this gentleman looks rather dashing. And I thought she looked kind of hot for a super tan bride with gigantic fake breasts….until I saw this:

 Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

How can a woman look so different from just a few feet closer? This picture frightens me. The Botox duckface, the horse hair weave… the close-up of her figure-skating “gown.” At least her husband’s kaftan-looking jacket takes some of the distraction off her tacky mess. What’s he hiding under there?

The thing about New Jersey the UK (see below) is, the 80s never died.

Submitted By: Anon

They probably had their first dance set to something off of Slippery When Wet. It must have been hard to find a cake phallic tall enough to steer the attention away from the bride’s monstrous fake breasts, but I think they did it.

Congrats, Pretty Pretty Princess and Tom Hanks in Big! You guys look very happy together.

Update: What’s more ridiculous – the fact that I didn’t know who this couple was or the fact that I’ve now spent 15 minutes “researching” them? Jordan and Peter Andre are the famed ‘reality celebrity’ couple from the UK who are no longer together. Jordan rode into her ceremony in a huge glass carriage. So much crucial information…so little time.

Submitted By: Anonymous

“Listen baby, I know I promised you a honeymoon in Ibiza, but somebody’s gotta pay for this ceremony. So take that fine ass and get back to work! Couple weeks from now, we’ll go away just you and me. I promise.”