Submitted by: dunno source

Groom: This is what I’d look like if I was delivering our child.

Bride: WTF are you doing??

Groom: I’m just being very calm and collected. I’m providing my lady with the love and support she needs.

Bride: PLEASE STOP NOW. Just take the garter off my leg! You’ve been down there for over six minutes!!!

Groom: Hey, this ritual means different things to different people. I’m having a moment right now. Don’t take that away from me.

Related: Garter Don’ts and …Don’ts

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Is he creating a romantic Lite Brite design under there? Is he about to put on a hard hat? WTF is that glow? Whatever is going under there seems to be impressing him. Maybe she got an extra special UV vajazzle? I suppose it’ll remain their little secret.

Related: Extension Cord Not Included and Uhhh How Far Up Is Your Garter, Lady?

Submitted by: Divine Caroline via Submit Page

What an impressive optical illusion! I like how the photographer cut the bride’s head off to make this photo happen. It nicely adds to the overall WTFness of the image. 

I don’t understand the appeal of these shots. I never have, and I never will. Who wants to pretend to give birth on their wedding day when they could be doing a keg stand? Think about it.

Submitted by: JacobsGirl0427 via Submit Page

Is this the part where she just admits she didn’t wear one? Or is something else happening below the surface of her skirt that I don’t want to think about right now? 

Look, it’s a garter. It shouldn’t be this hard. Hell, some brides make the garter perfectly visible! If your husband has to plant his face between your thighs just to get the thing off, maybe you’d be better off skipping that portion of the reception.

Submitted by: zebra via Submit Page

Wow. That’s got to be the unfanciest garter ever made. I’m trying to figure out if it’s a cheap gauze or double-ply toilet paper.  She’s really taking ghettotastic to a whole new level. Something Blue is sitting over there like, “Um, I TOLD YOU that top was 3 sizes too small, but don’t mind me…I’m just Something Blue.” 

Related: ‘Toddlers and Tiaras: A Wedding Special’

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Prettttty sure Mariah Carey that bridesmaid is wearing her bra on the outside of her dress. It’s also hard to tell if the bride is 22 or 42 since she’s wearing her weight in make-up. I’m loving her style to wear her skirt so short that the garter is actually worn several inches below it on her leg. Hawtness. I bet that just how the groom likes it. 

Related: Making An Honest Ho Out Of Her

Submitted by: dunno source via Submit Page

Hey guys, this isn’t bobbing for apples. Typically a chair of some kind is involved. That and tact.

Related: I’m Kinda Busy Right Now

“No, I’m not even kidding. He’s seriously under my dress right now trying to put my garter on. I was like, “Dad, not here on the sidewalk. The guests can wait.” But he just lifted up my gown anyway. It’s like he’s looking for his keys under there! Whenever he resurfaces I’ll tell him to call you back. Love you, too, Mom.”

Is this woman giving birth to a bridesmaid? I’m assuming she requested assistance with the garter and got more than she bargained for. Probably should have thought of that one in advance. I wouldn’t want this woman’s Dear Aunt Sally getting anywhere near my upper thigh. 

PS: The surly woman standing near the bride looks like Andy Milonakis. Did anyone else notice this person is wearing what appears to be a nightgown?